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Friday, December 18 @ 2:02 PM
lemmetellyouonemoretime  being helpless is the most ugliest thing i can ever imagine. since now, my phone is becoming a bitch. one time it will go off and the other time it goes blank. and worst, the monitor wont show a thing but the phone is still working. same goes to my stupid i-touch phone. and sometimes i wish i was born as a mind-reader. so that i dont need to have any communication device with me all the time. BUT that is just a thing i wish which i know it can never happen.(because being a mind reader and stuff is all in fantasy thus it can never be real.) so i guess i just have to stay regular normal human being which i have already am. talking about bitching, life can be super unfair when it comes to fairness. because ppl always tend to take whatever's yours. and lay an accusation on you which you never did. (how cruel can this poker face ppl be ?) anyway, even if i have to live this life this way, what can i do to stop it ? nothing. precisely. unless someone out there who is a vampy and make me turn to one of them(sorry, i read to much vampire story this month) but, who knows, yknow. haha. but nontheless, i still love my human life. because i can do whatever i want with no boundaries.(with the help of my afterthoughts, thank you.) anyway, cant brag about it further more or it will ruin my "cant be touch by anything" heart. well, since i was stuck at home for my holidays, ive already read two thick books. and finish them only for 2-3 days. wow. and oh, i preety much in love with story books then movies. literally. since, i get more info while reading them then watching it. for example like, the twillight movies. you get more pictures when reading then wacthing the movies.(because more scene were not in them like in books are.) and that is why, reading makes better movie then movies, getwhatimean ? whoa, i never tot i could be this talkative after a long break from posting. but it wont end here cause i swear i got many things to talk right now. since holiday is about to come to an end, literally. i thought of wanting more holidays. the thought about that school, it gives me the creep. i just dont to have any foot nearer. i just want to get the hell out of there and start anew(i know ive been talking about me, starting anew many times but this time, its real.) i just want new things to resolve my surrounding so badly that i can really kneel down to dad and ask him to put me out of the misery. seriously. i cant stand having everything ghosted around me. hunting me. having my butt there for a year, i can hardly breathe for more oxygen already. tho i know, my everyday spent there isnt that really bad but, i just cant save my life from the cruel unfriendly atmosphere.(call me drama queen, i dont care. i just want out.) that is the place i cant even fit in, tho many thought i could cause of my crazy-ness but.. ugh. i just couldnt. i cant be doing the physically present mentally absent all the time. i'd gone mentally low by another year. or worst. by just a month fly. i reallyreallyreally want to have my O taken next year. i dont want another year to waste in ite. since i no longer interested in what im doing now.(because everything turns out to be a hobby and not what i want in future instead.) but how can i literally do that to convince dad that i really want to quit and take O instead ? ugh, stupid stuff makes me go all bizarre already. living things/ life like this, it is exactly equivalent to an outrageous slander. and i hate my life being wasted with things i hate. i want it to be facade. so i wont waste any life nor time to such stuff anymore. darn it. i wish everything could be rewind. it will do much better then this. no mistake. nuf said, i miss my boyfriend. he's out on a vacation, again. Labels: dissapointed. |
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