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one thing about me that i hate the most is being so stubborn and ego. AND i seriously mean it. boyfrend and me, we are now not in a good terms. we quarrel over small things. (thanks to me for not talking nicely to him, thats why) but sometimes, he too can get me on my nerves. its like, we got this one thing in us. we like finding fault. maybe, not him. but he too sometimes pushes his luck far. literally. and btw, ive already deleted some of my past post since he ask me too and he did say that he really hate reading it and looking at my ex photos makes me him go bizarre.(well, who told him to read. i didnt.) you see, thats the problem. i hate on how he says things and do things and on the other hand, he hates my behaviour. we are two different people. very different. tho, people says different makes it unique, but this isnt unique at all. this is far from unique. this is somehow can be called, rubbish or maybe, fools. but what i know deep down, im not regretting on making him as my boyfrend. seriously. i swear. only that, lil things cant get out of hand sometimes. but whatever it is, i love him. so much. not even words can express it. no doubts, i make a horrible girlfriend for him. oh wells, even if he happen to read this, i dont even think he believes it. and i just happen to know. anw, new year is tommorrow and today is new years eve. and im oh-so not excited about it. it makes me think about school. anw, since new year is coming, ive already have my resolutions on. and i hope i could fulfill it tho. i never want things to happen badly anymore. sigh~




mum is back from haji and now, currently she's at home and giving out her gifts to her grandchildren. she looks like she can be a very good "santa" tho. anyway, back to track, since christmas is coming around, ive already made up my "what i want" list. well, there's only 4 things i really want before new year start. firstly, i really need NEW shoes. secondly, i WANT reallyreally(emphasize the really) want my twillight saga; eclipse book. thirdly, i need a new bag and i really need that. and the fourth thing that i reallyreally want it to happen is, to take my o next year.(tho i know i still got another one more year in ite life) but i just dont care about those stuff anymore. seriously. i just want my O to be taken, thats all. i know this sound stupid but, its a very big regret for me not taking it last year. and i mean it. oh wells, what worst can happen right. only that, i'll suffer from the unfriendly-ness that will occur the moment my foot steps in. and of cause, i'll suffer from a great brain damage. sigh~!






being helpless is the most ugliest thing i can ever imagine. since now, my phone is becoming a bitch. one time it will go off and the other time it goes blank. and worst, the monitor wont show a thing but the phone is still working. same goes to my stupid i-touch phone. and sometimes i wish i was born as a mind-reader. so that i dont need to have any communication device with me all the time. BUT that is just a thing i wish which i know it can never happen.(because being a mind reader and stuff is all in fantasy thus it can never be real.) so i guess i just have to stay regular normal human being which i have already am. talking about bitching, life can be super unfair when it comes to fairness. because ppl always tend to take whatever's yours. and lay an accusation on you which you never did. (how cruel can this poker face ppl be ?) anyway, even if i have to live this life this way, what can i do to stop it ? nothing. precisely. unless someone out there who is a vampy and make me turn to one of them(sorry, i read to much vampire story this month) but, who knows, yknow. haha. but nontheless, i still love my human life. because i can do whatever i want with no boundaries.(with the help of my afterthoughts, thank you.) anyway, cant brag about it further more or it will ruin my "cant be touch by anything" heart. well, since i was stuck at home for my holidays, ive already read two thick books. and finish them only for 2-3 days. wow. and oh, i preety much in love with story books then movies. literally. since, i get more info while reading them then watching it. for example like, the twillight movies. you get more pictures when reading then wacthing the movies.(because more scene were not in them like in books are.) and that is why, reading makes better movie then movies, getwhatimean ? whoa, i never tot i could be this talkative after a long break from posting. but it wont end here cause i swear i got many things to talk right now. since holiday is about to come to an end, literally. i thought of wanting more holidays. the thought about that school, it gives me the creep. i just dont to have any foot nearer. i just want to get the hell out of there and start anew(i know ive been talking about me, starting anew many times but this time, its real.) i just want new things to resolve my surrounding so badly that i can really kneel down to dad and ask him to put me out of the misery. seriously. i cant stand having everything ghosted around me. hunting me. having my butt there for a year, i can hardly breathe for more oxygen already. tho i know, my everyday spent there isnt that really bad but, i just cant save my life from the cruel unfriendly atmosphere.(call me drama queen, i dont care. i just want out.) that is the place i cant even fit in, tho many thought i could cause of my crazy-ness but.. ugh. i just couldnt. i cant be doing the physically present mentally absent all the time. i'd gone mentally low by another year. or worst. by just a month fly. i reallyreallyreally want to have my O taken next year. i dont want another year to waste in ite. since i no longer interested in what im doing now.(because everything turns out to be a hobby and not what i want in future instead.) but how can i literally do that to convince dad that i really want to quit and take O instead ? ugh, stupid stuff makes me go all bizarre already. living things/ life like this, it is exactly equivalent to an outrageous slander. and i hate my life being wasted with things i hate. i want it to be facade. so i wont waste any life nor time to such stuff anymore. darn it. i wish everything could be rewind. it will do much better then this. no mistake. nuf said, i miss my boyfriend. he's out on a vacation, again.

Labels: dissapointed.

well, apparently i actually got nothing to talk about but to blabber how boring my day is today. like seriously. boyfriend is out to work, brothers and sisters is not back home yet and dad, went jb for his dinner. and its only left me and qistina. how cruel can this world be to me ? pffft~! i feel like im a daughter with no parents. seriously. and oh, have i mention that im going to stay in this house ALONE ? yerp. alone in this big house. and have i mention that im actually a scaredy cat ? and never been alone ? i mean, never being left out at home alone. apparently i am a scaredy cat and im born with this wild imgaination which has nothing but ghost. and almost half of the time my brain is corrupted with ghost. which makes me a scaredy cat. oh wells, i seriously need someone to sleep over at my house with me for 4 days straight. and i mean it! so, anyone ? only restricted to GIRLS ! ~ HELP !




holidays is here and i am oh-so not excited about it.(well actually it was last week, only that today is the official.) and since im doing nothing except rotting(since now ive already become a babysitter), i began my new kindda hobby, blog shopping. and apparently ive already purchase two items. and it cost me a total 26 bucks. and now, im left with my denim jacket, two everlast shoes and my eclipse book. i really need more cash then i have now. i really in-need of those stuff ive mention. anyways, mum is coming home next week. YEAY ! 13 more days to go. unbelieveable.




a lost that i have to accept. a lost that's already fated. silence floating around, drown in my own tears. fighting to urge out. trying to accept the reality.... a lost of my granddad that i love most. tho we weren't close. but he will always have the place in my heart. goodbye grand, im gonna miss you.

one thing about me that i hate the most is being so stubborn and ego. AND i seriously mean it. boyfrend and me, we are now not in a good terms. we quarrel over small things. (thanks to me for not talking nicely to him, thats why) but sometimes, he too can get me on my nerves. its like, we got this one thing in us. we like finding fault. maybe, not him. but he too sometimes pushes his luck far. literally. and btw, ive already deleted some of my past post since he ask me too and he did say that he really hate reading it and looking at my ex photos makes me him go bizarre.(well, who told him to read. i didnt.) you see, thats the problem. i hate on how he says things and do things and on the other hand, he hates my behaviour. we are two different people. very different. tho, people says different makes it unique, but this isnt unique at all. this is far from unique. this is somehow can be called, rubbish or maybe, fools. but what i know deep down, im not regretting on making him as my boyfrend. seriously. i swear. only that, lil things cant get out of hand sometimes. but whatever it is, i love him. so much. not even words can express it. no doubts, i make a horrible girlfriend for him. oh wells, even if he happen to read this, i dont even think he believes it. and i just happen to know. anw, new year is tommorrow and today is new years eve. and im oh-so not excited about it. it makes me think about school. anw, since new year is coming, ive already have my resolutions on. and i hope i could fulfill it tho. i never want things to happen badly anymore. sigh~




mum is back from haji and now, currently she's at home and giving out her gifts to her grandchildren. she looks like she can be a very good "santa" tho. anyway, back to track, since christmas is coming around, ive already made up my "what i want" list. well, there's only 4 things i really want before new year start. firstly, i really need NEW shoes. secondly, i WANT reallyreally(emphasize the really) want my twillight saga; eclipse book. thirdly, i need a new bag and i really need that. and the fourth thing that i reallyreally want it to happen is, to take my o next year.(tho i know i still got another one more year in ite life) but i just dont care about those stuff anymore. seriously. i just want my O to be taken, thats all. i know this sound stupid but, its a very big regret for me not taking it last year. and i mean it. oh wells, what worst can happen right. only that, i'll suffer from the unfriendly-ness that will occur the moment my foot steps in. and of cause, i'll suffer from a great brain damage. sigh~!






being helpless is the most ugliest thing i can ever imagine. since now, my phone is becoming a bitch. one time it will go off and the other time it goes blank. and worst, the monitor wont show a thing but the phone is still working. same goes to my stupid i-touch phone. and sometimes i wish i was born as a mind-reader. so that i dont need to have any communication device with me all the time. BUT that is just a thing i wish which i know it can never happen.(because being a mind reader and stuff is all in fantasy thus it can never be real.) so i guess i just have to stay regular normal human being which i have already am. talking about bitching, life can be super unfair when it comes to fairness. because ppl always tend to take whatever's yours. and lay an accusation on you which you never did. (how cruel can this poker face ppl be ?) anyway, even if i have to live this life this way, what can i do to stop it ? nothing. precisely. unless someone out there who is a vampy and make me turn to one of them(sorry, i read to much vampire story this month) but, who knows, yknow. haha. but nontheless, i still love my human life. because i can do whatever i want with no boundaries.(with the help of my afterthoughts, thank you.) anyway, cant brag about it further more or it will ruin my "cant be touch by anything" heart. well, since i was stuck at home for my holidays, ive already read two thick books. and finish them only for 2-3 days. wow. and oh, i preety much in love with story books then movies. literally. since, i get more info while reading them then watching it. for example like, the twillight movies. you get more pictures when reading then wacthing the movies.(because more scene were not in them like in books are.) and that is why, reading makes better movie then movies, getwhatimean ? whoa, i never tot i could be this talkative after a long break from posting. but it wont end here cause i swear i got many things to talk right now. since holiday is about to come to an end, literally. i thought of wanting more holidays. the thought about that school, it gives me the creep. i just dont to have any foot nearer. i just want to get the hell out of there and start anew(i know ive been talking about me, starting anew many times but this time, its real.) i just want new things to resolve my surrounding so badly that i can really kneel down to dad and ask him to put me out of the misery. seriously. i cant stand having everything ghosted around me. hunting me. having my butt there for a year, i can hardly breathe for more oxygen already. tho i know, my everyday spent there isnt that really bad but, i just cant save my life from the cruel unfriendly atmosphere.(call me drama queen, i dont care. i just want out.) that is the place i cant even fit in, tho many thought i could cause of my crazy-ness but.. ugh. i just couldnt. i cant be doing the physically present mentally absent all the time. i'd gone mentally low by another year. or worst. by just a month fly. i reallyreallyreally want to have my O taken next year. i dont want another year to waste in ite. since i no longer interested in what im doing now.(because everything turns out to be a hobby and not what i want in future instead.) but how can i literally do that to convince dad that i really want to quit and take O instead ? ugh, stupid stuff makes me go all bizarre already. living things/ life like this, it is exactly equivalent to an outrageous slander. and i hate my life being wasted with things i hate. i want it to be facade. so i wont waste any life nor time to such stuff anymore. darn it. i wish everything could be rewind. it will do much better then this. no mistake. nuf said, i miss my boyfriend. he's out on a vacation, again.

Labels: dissapointed.

well, apparently i actually got nothing to talk about but to blabber how boring my day is today. like seriously. boyfriend is out to work, brothers and sisters is not back home yet and dad, went jb for his dinner. and its only left me and qistina. how cruel can this world be to me ? pffft~! i feel like im a daughter with no parents. seriously. and oh, have i mention that im going to stay in this house ALONE ? yerp. alone in this big house. and have i mention that im actually a scaredy cat ? and never been alone ? i mean, never being left out at home alone. apparently i am a scaredy cat and im born with this wild imgaination which has nothing but ghost. and almost half of the time my brain is corrupted with ghost. which makes me a scaredy cat. oh wells, i seriously need someone to sleep over at my house with me for 4 days straight. and i mean it! so, anyone ? only restricted to GIRLS ! ~ HELP !




holidays is here and i am oh-so not excited about it.(well actually it was last week, only that today is the official.) and since im doing nothing except rotting(since now ive already become a babysitter), i began my new kindda hobby, blog shopping. and apparently ive already purchase two items. and it cost me a total 26 bucks. and now, im left with my denim jacket, two everlast shoes and my eclipse book. i really need more cash then i have now. i really in-need of those stuff ive mention. anyways, mum is coming home next week. YEAY ! 13 more days to go. unbelieveable.




a lost that i have to accept. a lost that's already fated. silence floating around, drown in my own tears. fighting to urge out. trying to accept the reality.... a lost of my granddad that i love most. tho we weren't close. but he will always have the place in my heart. goodbye grand, im gonna miss you.

Meeen

im simple, friendly, fragile and sensitive
i love nature and i love books.
dance,music&singing is a part of my life.
im just a girl who dream big and i have big brain
nuff said, im humble by nature.

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